It is not so easy to be unhappy unless you consistently do things to create misfortune yourself.
The world doesn’t make you unhappy. You make yourself unhappy. Your attitude, your bank account, your body, your happiness, and also your misfortune are the direct result of your daily habits.
Fortunately, together we can identify and change the habits that make you unhappy.
If you feel like you’re often unhappy, avoid these mental habits:
Expectations of yourself and others
Expectations destroy relationships. Expectations destroy a good mood. Expectations prevent you from doing anything. The list of why expectations are bullshit could go on for a long time. The more you expect, the less you do it. The more you expect, the more you will be disappointed. The more you expect, the more bitter you become. You can calmly clarify with yourself what you expect from yourself and the world and what you believe you deserve. And then let it all go.
Wait for approval.
No matter what you do, there will always be people who admire you for it and others who demonize you for it. A healthy adult makes decisions and takes measures that he thinks are right.
It doesn’t matter whether your neighbors, your brother-in-law, or your mother agree. It’s about your life. Don’t wait for others’ permission, the wait will make you unhappy.
The enemy of happiness in comparison. There is always someone with a nicer car, a more attractive spouse, a better body, or a bigger paycheck. Just compare yourself to yourself. Even if you make progress in extra time, you win the game of life. If you lose ground compared to yourself, this is a sign that some adjustments are necessary.
Time is precious. It always was, it always will be. You may not have been born into a wealthy family, have an IQ of 150, and don’t look like a movie star. But everyone is available 24 hours a day. How you use this time determines your results. Wasting time creates stress and drama in life that no one needs. If you hesitate a lot, you make your life smaller than it could be and you make yourself unhappy.
Indecisiveness is the ultimate form of postponement. Choosing nothing means making a decision. It is a decision to hold on and let life pass you by. If you’re stuck between several options, just choose one of them. Making a choice is always better than not. And the good thing is: you can learn how to make decisions.
If you’re a perfectionist, nothing is good enough. It is the perfect recipe to be unhappy. Give yourself many opportunities to be happy, not just one. The need for perfection also creates indecisiveness and leads to hesitation. Determine how well something needs to be done and let it happen. (By the way, there is an antidote to perfectionism)
After a failure, it is easy to lose motivation. It follows that you make yourself smaller, trust yourself less and stack deeply, just so as not to be disappointed again. If you expect less from yourself, you make yourself – you already guessed it – deliberately unhappy.
Concentrate on your previous success and remember which goals you have already achieved. Learning to walk and talk is one of the most difficult things we humans ever have to learn. You already did that. The rest is easy. So you can trust yourself more calmly.
Never be hard on yourself when something doesn’t work. Or better: Be nice to yourself if you reach into the toilet again. Mistakes are part of the game. Learn from it and apply the information obtained. What would your life be like if you never made a mistake again? Now hand on heart: was it ever helpful if you scolded yourself or were angry with yourself? No. Other than that you made yourself unhappy, it didn’t get you anywhere.
There is good news if you are unhappy. It is your fault, which means that you can fix it yourself. Bad mental habits make life shit (sorry for your directness). A few simple changes can have a positive impact on your happiness and mental health. Realize how your mental habits affect your mood and success. Make the necessary changes and jump lightly out of your hamster wheel.