A new and terrible era has begun in my online shopping life. One where any remaining shred of self-control has been completely banished, where there is an uneasy feeling that the person in charge of the Good Ship Buyalot (me) is, in fact, deeply unhinged. It’s a bit like that scene where Scar takes his place at Pride Rock (Lion King reference, stay up to date): you can almost see the sky darkening, the hyenas circling, the vultures swooping down. Because I discovered the Vinted application and it will surely lead to my final demise.
Maybe not from a financial point of view, because almost everything I see on Vinted seems to be (inexplicably) priced at four or six pounds and I very rarely do it. buy anything, but if I continue using the app at my current pace (about a third of the workday), I will almost certainly be malnourished, out of work, and completely estranged from my entire family by the time the calendar turns to 2025.
How have I not taken Vinted seriously until now? Was it because I had been aimlessly browsing the listings? Amateur! – Watching one wrinkled and dirty item after another wrinkled and dirty item flash across the screen in front of my eyes and feel more and more disheartened? Here, an Isabel Marant dress so stained it looks like the Shroud of Turin; there a pair of Louboutin heels “without red soles and without a buckle, otherwise in very good condition.”
I’m not that kind of person and I don’t have the stamina. what i do However, I have a pretty laser-focused approach to shopping when it comes to finding that “one thing” my wardrobe is missing. (The fact that I usually find something I’m missing at least every month is a drawback, but surely at some point the job will be done? The capsule edition will be complete, perfected and there will be a (comfortable) outfit for every occasion. ? )
It could be a pair of slouchy black leather boots that I’m looking for, or a tweed pencil skirt, a masculine jacket or a houndstooth coat: once I’ve imagined myself in this item of clothing I can’t get rid of the mental images that follow. . . The houndstooth coat worn with jeans and sneakers, or perhaps with a robe draped over your shoulders over a sequined dress. Me in Paris (when am I going to go to Paris?) walking through the Marais with the beret on and, you guessed it, the houndstooth coat; Me sitting outside a cool New York deli with my houndstooth coat artfully slung over one arm, drinking coffee from a cold mug made from recycled coffee bean shells.
I DON’T EVEN DRINK COFFEE! I HAVE NEVER DRINK A COFFEE IN MY LIFE!
(This is my problem with fashion and dressing in general: I am totally unrealistic and I dress for a completely different life than the one I actually lead. I dress for a person who doesn’t even exist. All of this needs more attention. post and a big discussion, but it’s really the root of all my time-wasting forays into fashion).
Anyway, yes. I have this sharp shopping approach once I have an essential wardrobe addition fixed in my mind, and once I discovered the search filters on Vinted and that I could eliminate 90% of the unsuitable items in one go, I realized that there was a whole new universe of fashion shopping open to me. I was no longer limited to the latest trends and “new arrivals” from online stores: if I wanted a houndstooth coat, then the world was my oyster. You could get an M&S number from last season (“I bought this and changed my mind”) or a Max Mara number from the 90s. Pure wool, cashmere, belted, oversized, the options were endless.
And that’s why Vinted is so addictive. You might be hit with three hundred articles that match your search for “pink pussy bow blouse” and waste half an hour just trying to check the top results on Google Lens. (Have you done this yet? You click the camera icon in the Google search bar and then upload a photo and Google will find matching results. Great if, for example, there’s a dress you’ve seen but don’t know how to get it.) I’ll look because the sales listing only has it hanging on a hanger. Or if they are a pair of sunglasses and you can’t tell if they are a large style or small and neat ones friend and main facilitator Sam I thank Chapman for this particular advice. , although I’m pretty sure I’m very late to the party).
And then the price… this It’s what makes Vinted even more addictive. I mean things are not universally They are a bargain, but most of the time the items I look at are a small fraction of the new purchase price. I’ve had a pure wool Jigsaw skirt for four quid, in perfect condition (pictured above), a Roberto Cavalli high-necked silk blouse (which makes me look like Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen, but never mind) for less than an M&S jumper and I’m currently procrastinating over a plethora of different silk shirts, wool coats and belted cashmere coats.
Absolutely in my element.
Of course, the downside to all this is that you can’t return anything and, if you sit between two sizes (me, a UK10 and a 12), it can be a real waste of time trying to guess whether the pants you’ve ordered will fit. baggy at the knees and they will always fall down, or too tight in the butt and they will club your bottom.
I have to go. I’ve just received seventeen different email alerts (another downside, I should see if I can turn these notifications off) from sellers offering me their products for even less money: a bouclé skirt marked down from twelve pounds to ten, a YSL dress with fifteen pounds discount. It’s like the app is infiltrating my mind. I have to sit in a dark room and put off these new deals, reviewing items over and over again and imagining using them in all kinds of scenarios that will never happen and then I can’t buy anything because I’m worried. about not being able to return it…
It’s time. Vinted is calling you. And apparently I’ve yet to experience the joys of Vestiaire, which at first glance looks like Harvey Nichols’ website only with all the zeroes removed from the prices by accident…
Will I get out of this alive? Tell me in the comments: are you a Vinted convert? Am I so late to the party that everyone is shaking their heads sadly, having already left for the much cooler house party down the street, the one that lasts until 4am and has a DJ like this? A totally awesome guy who’s in his second year at Central St Martin’s? Talk to me.
*And excuse the styling in the photos here. This is not how I would ideally wear my new pure wool Jigsaw skirt (FOUR POUNDS), I was taking a photo of the roll neck top. Which is actually a bodysuit. I’m trying it out to see if I can recommend it, but first I need to give it some time to figure out how irritating the booster part is.
