Dear We Are Teachers,
A friend of mine, a teacher at another school in our district, got in trouble for posting her Amazon wish list for the school on Facebook. Her principal said that any crowdfunding must be processed by the district as fundraising, but the paperwork to do so is time-consuming and tedious. I was counting on being able to make an Amazon wish list this year for my friends and family, but I don’t want to get in trouble. Is there some kind of loophole?
—Nothing without you
Dear NWY,
Why? Why in 2024 are we still demanding that teachers use their own money to buy school supplies? And when they find an option to get help to acquire these materials, do we dedicate MORE work and time to them? I can’t.
My “professional” advice: Acquire supplies through other means, but with resentment in your heart.
My least professional advice: Save those Amazon wish lists, babe. Use initials or a fake name. Share them with your friends and family via your personal email. Send them to celebrities who ask for Amazon wish lists to fill out. If you get “caught,” tell them it’s your cousin’s. No one will investigate you. And if they do, send them to me and I’ll ask why the hell you have so much free time as an admin.
Honestly.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I found out that next week I will have a new seventh grader transferred into my math class. This child is in general education classes, but his IEP specifies a disruptive habit: masturbating in class. According to his IEP, when this happens, I am supposed to remind him, “(Name), hands on desk.” Then, if it continues, I am supposed to ignore him (!) and talk to him about it after class.
I am not comfortable with this and am surprised that the teacher’s “intervention” was approved for an IEP. I am not certified in special education. What can I do?
—Outside my pay range
Dear OMPG,
First, I’m a big advocate of inclusive education (it benefits everyone!), but this behavior isn’t limited to distracting gestures that general education students can learn to accept. This behavior requires students (minors!) and teachers to be exposed to (and tolerate) a sexual act in front of them. That’s a violation of their rights and yours.
(I’m also concerned about this student’s rights. If he lacks the self-awareness or self-control to curb these behaviors, is it really better to expose him to MORE students?)
First, visit your union representative. Then, visit your Title IX coordinator and tell them explicitly that you believe this expectation is sexual harassment. If none of this works for some reason, wait for a student to complain to their parents that their classmate is masturbating in class. As I’ve said here hundreds of times before, parents can get things moving much faster than teachers.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I love my TA this year, but last week I noticed something I wasn’t sure if I should mention. I was in a meeting for most of class, and when I came back, my TA was braiding a student’s hair. I didn’t say anything about it, but the next day, the student was braiding her hair. Part of me is uncomfortable with this (especially since we teach elementary school and there are always lice!), but I also don’t know if saying something would be considered a cultural norm for them. What do you think?
—Am I the hair narcissist?
Dear AITHN,
This is a tricky topic. I’m sure that 99.9% of teachers who comb their students’ hair do so completely innocently as a way to bond. Unfortunately, because of the other 0.1%, physical boundaries between teachers and students are very, very important.
I would say this: “Hi! I wanted to talk to you about something. I trust you and I know that you don’t have any bad intentions in doing our students’ hair or having them do yours. But I would hate for a visitor or a parent to show up and complain, or make it into something it’s not. I just feel very protective of you.”
Hopefully, your fellow teacher will appreciate that you care about her and are responsive to your point of view. But if she resists, encourage her to consult with an administrator. And who knows? Maybe the administrators won’t care, but you’ll know.
Do you have an urgent question? Email us at [email protected].
Dear We Are Teachers,
I finished my 12th year of teaching in June and I don’t think I’ll be able to do another school year. Even at the beginning of the summer I was scared to go back, but now that has turned into an absolute terror. However, I’ve already signed my contract and I know that this decision would mean that my principal would have to go out of her way to fill my highly specialized position (I teach AP French 3 and 4 and all levels of dance). I’m worried that resigning would jeopardize the reference I’d get from her AND ruin the plans of students hoping to take these classes in the fall if my school can’t find a replacement in time. What would you recommend?
—I just can’t do it.
