Most people want to feel heard and validated in any relationship. Dismissive behavior, a destructive force, can quickly erode bonds or induce closure. We have all been guilty at some point, perhaps even without knowing it. Adam and I found ourselves in this destructive cycle as we went through our trauma, numerous marriage counseling sessions, and changes in our family dynamics. Only when we recognized and admitted this harmful pattern did we begin to rebuild a new foundation based on trust and validation.
Disdainful behavior involves:
- Eliminate someone’s feelings, worries or fears by ignoring them.
- Disparage; and
- Invalidating the thoughts, emotions or needs of others.
It may seem minor, but this behavior indicates that someone’s feelings are not worth considering.
If you minimize or ignore another person’s feelings or points of view, you are being dismissive. Whether you are worried about your situation, deliberately shutting down the conversation, or avoiding uncomfortable emotions, this behavior can break down trust and communication in the long run.
Dismissive behavior is often the result of past experiences, emotional habits, and coping mechanisms. Some people have learned to avoid complicated feelings such as discomfort or vulnerability for themselves and others. An individual’s education plays an important role in this coping mechanism (Sunshine City Counseling). Many people have been exposed to environments where freely expressing emotions is a sign of weakness.
Without meaning to, you may feel too overwhelmed by your stress and overwhelmed to take on the concerns of others. A lack of empathy or difficulty understanding emotions can make it easier to display dismissive behaviors.
Signs of a dismissive person
Below are common manifestations. Developing awareness of the cues can help address this behavior.
1. Ignoring or overlooking concerns: Ignoring or minimizing feelings through statements such as “You’re overreacting” or “It’s no big deal.”
2. Interrupting or talking over others: Not actively listening by interrupting conversations or redirecting attention to your own experiences shows a disinterest in the other person’s perspective.
3. Using dismissive body language: Actions speak louder than words. Rolling your eyes, sighing deeply, or crossing your arms when someone expresses their feelings indicates that you feel the conversation is not important.
4. Offering solutions too quickly: People may not seek immediate answers when sharing their feelings or problems. They may want someone to listen to them and feel heard. Offering quick solutions without fully understanding the other person’s emotions is invalidating.
5. Simplify the experiences or perspectives of others: The emotional context may be more complex even if you feel that another person’s problems are simple. Oversimplification conveys that the person’s feelings and the depth of their problem are not an issue.
How to stop being dismissive
Empathy and improving communication skills can effectively combat contempt. Here are some key steps:
- Practice active listening: Listen without interrupting or jumping to conclusions. Take time to reflect on what you hear and show that you understand.
- Validate emotions: Even if you disagree with another person, it is essential to acknowledge their feelings. Saying, “I understand why you feel that way” can significantly alter the way you relate to each other, reinforcing the value of your emotions.
- Question your reactions: Reflect on why you are dismissive when you realize you are generating empathy.
- Apologize when necessary: Repair is essential and a sincere apology can undo certain offenses. By renewing trust, you can commit to change and save your relationships.
These adjustments can offer more compassionate and open communication.
Why is it important to be dismissive?
Although dismissive behavior may seem inconsequential, it can have lasting effects on relationships and emotional well-being. Those who receive these types of responses may experience emotional isolation, decreased self-esteem, increased anxiety, and even resentment in personal or professional relationships.
Dismissive behavior can make it difficult for the person displaying it to build trust in others. Trust is based on mutual respect and validation, and disdain creates a barrier between these two pillars.
Conclusion
If you can identify dismissive behavior, you can foster healthier, more rewarding relationships. Everyone wants to feel worthy of being heard and validated for their experience. Practicing empathy will lead to less conflict and greater emotional awareness of oneself and others. Enrich your life by helping others enrich theirs.
How is this behavior addressed?
Please comment below. You may be interested in our article on managing anxiety and parenting with trauma.
Disclaimer: All content and information on this website, including our recipes and blog articles, is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological or health advice (for that always seek the help of a professional in these areas). We do not guarantee that the information presented here is free of errors or omissions, although we make every effort to provide information supported by research.
